Harvard Family/Transcript
Pre-introduction Announcer: Welcome to Windsor. A city which is right by the American border to Detroit, and also home of the Harvard Family. Announcer: Tonight on Supernanny, Jo meets for the first time... Paul: BEFORE I GO OUT AND STAB YOU, STOP IT MURPHY! Announcer: A family with abusive parents that sounds just like a criminal. Jo: In every country of the world, child abuse is illegal. Announcer: The children also have fear of bugs, facing the parents to make more threats. ''' Paul: WHETHER IT'S THE (bleep) FLY OR ME TRYING TO HIT YOU IT'S JUST A FLY DON'T MAKE ME BRING IT HERE!!! '''Announcer: Can Jo help the family, both the kids and the parents before all hail gets worse? Jo: Trust me Paul and Wendall. I am not joking. Announcer: The family would now face Jo's though, not-so-abusive rules. Forever. Intro Submission Reel this scene the vehicle is driving from the US border and entering Canada Announcer: It's a busy day at the Border Crossing, which means it will give Jo more time to watch the Submission Reel and relax while waiting for passport control. Jo: So I'm at the Ambassador Border Crossing and if the cars go fast, I will be in Windsor to help a family in need. I can't wait to cross the border. Really, I've never experienced that before. opens Laptop, plays Video Paul: Hi guys, it's me Paul, I'm 45 years old. Wendall: And I'm Wendall, I'm 33. Paul: We have 3 kids, 13-year old Alexia, 10-year old Alan and 3-year old Murphy. Wendall: There is a scene going on in this family. All of our kids are scared of insects/spiders screams at the same time with kids while showing a scene of spider raises his voice Paul: (BLEEP) THIS, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! Jo: Gosh, he can't use a low-tone voice! I'm lucky my parents do. Alan: There is a-- grabs knife and uses as a threat Jo: Really? I got to stop this, this is child abuse. Paul: I have to lose it when I'm under control. And here in Canada, you're allowed to slap your child. shows Paul slapping child Jo: I know they allow this here, but I had a campaign to help it end. And that makes me unhappy. Wendall: Our 10-year old Alan is a very bad child. He fails school, he misbehaves and yeah. Paul: Supernanny, we have auditioned for this show and you better hurry. Take a plane, it's fast! See ya there! closes Laptop Jo: I'm not on the plane. I'm in a car, waiting to cross the border. Announcer: Just 30 minutes later Jo is finally about to enter Canada. Observation begins Announcer: Jo is on her way, and as you know she works 27 years as a nanny, turning families from naughty to nice. But won't Jo try it on a very abusive family? She'd never been to one before, but you'll see. knocks on the door opens the door Paul: Hello! Jo: Hello, nice to meet you I'm Jo, how are you? Paul: (bleep)-ed up. Jo: That language please. Now can we introduce your children? Paul: Before then I will tell you why, our kids is crap. and Paul go to closet Paul: So as you know Alan and Murphy had misbehaved on their trip to the store. Jo: Oh. That's bad. Announcer: Jo is about to hear the most shocking thing parents would do for discipline. Paul: I will show this to you, because when we discipline opens closet we--- gets shocked Jo: I never knew this. He would trap his children into a closet for misbehaviour? That's so bad. Announcer: 'In the closet, the children have suffered, without access to drinking water or other food, neither any entertainment.' Jo: Aw... Hi Alan and Murphy, nice to meet you I'm Jo, how are--- raises his voice Paul: GO TO YOUR (BLEEP) ROOM RIGHT NOW! Jo: My word. You almost hurt my ears. Paul: Oh sorry. But we yell at our children you know. Announcer: Yelling isn't a good idea after all when disciplining children. It is something that parents need to keep on controlling. Jo: Did you know swearing at your children causes them to learn bad words? Paul: No. Issues Announcer: Since Jo Frost came at around 4PM, it's dinner time just 3 hours after Jo's arrival. Dinner time is also when the Harvards have issues. And right now Wendall is cooking today's special, Spaghetti and Meatballs.' However havoc wrecked, just after 1 hour of cooking.' throws a meatball at Murphy throws 2 meatballs at Alan Wendall: Guys, please. Paul: This is not food fight, you're NOT in Syria! throws sauce to both Jo and Paul Announcer: That moment when Paul begins to lose it. raises his voice Paul: YOU DO NOT THROW SAUCE AT ME OR THIS TV CELEBRITY FROM GIBRALTAR! ONE MORE TIME AND YOU'RE UP TO YOUR ROOM without any meals! Jo: Did Paul think that I was Gibraltarian? These people are British since it's still under its administration today, so my father and I are British descents. Jo: I'm not from Gibraltar. Anyways, you're not going to take her to the room, now you're gonna give her a warning in a low-tone, authoritative voice. Announcer: But from his own mind, he thinks that it is like this. Paul: MURPHY THE DUMBASS EGYPTIAN, THIS IS YOUR FIRST WARNING! IF YOU DO THIS AGAIN, YOU WILL BE PUT ON THAT WHAT THE HECK THEY CALL IT! Announcer: Racism was uttered. Wendall: "She might be playing up, however you have NO RIGHT to yell at Murphy and swear at her like that. Follow Jo's directions, otherwise I will do it myself!" Jo: Isn't that a low-tone voice? That was extreme, and anyways it's the Naughty Step. Paul: I don't care, you can fucking lick my ass. plays with her spaghetti and throws it onto Wendall Jo: Okay now, you're gonna put her in the naughty corner, and this time don't raise your-- Paul: I DON'T CARE JO! AND ANYWAYS MURPHY, YOU'RE NOW IN THE CORNER! SIT IN THAT damn CASE FOR 10 MINUTES!" Wendall:" Right, I warned you. I will do this myself, as I don't discipline them in this horrific way!" Announcer: It's time for the Naughty Corner Technique. follows Paul observes closely Jo: I said don't raise your voice. And you should set one minute per age, she's not 10 years old. Let me do this. begins to use a authoritative voice Jo: You're now in here for 3 minutes. After the 3 minutes are up, I need to have a apology. Paul: Why not raise your voice? Jo: I don't in my techniques. Raising your voice has a higher chance to harm, so I want you to protect it. Don't lose it. I would prefer a low-tone one. Announcer: Murphy had sat here for 3 minutes later, and now it was finally time for a apology. comes Jo: Okay, so you're going to apologize to me and I will pass that along to your parents. Can you do that for me? You've been here because you were throwing food. Murphy: Sorry. Jo: That's good. I accept it, now let me talk to your parents. Announcer: Jo accepted it, but however Paul is refusing to accept it. goes to Murphy while Wendall covers her ears so she doesn't hear Paul swearing at her Paul: You're apology is UNACCEPTED! GO UP TO YOUR ROOM YOU LITTLE slutty PERSON! and Wendall gasp Jo: Seriously? Jo: I accept her apology. But Paul is refusing to co-operate. Isn't this how I work? (laughs) Paul: That's not how apologies work! Jo: People would forgive people you know sometimes. What if this was you as a child? Wendall raises: ACCEPT THAT APOLOGY PAUL! Paul: Just shut your fucking mouth up. Wendall: YOU WANT A DIVORCE? (Takes out a double barrel shotgun) You got one, bud! Announcer: Just at 9:30PM, it's bedtime. Bedtimes are usually rough with the family sometimes, but Jo is going to use her powers to make it as the way it should be. Paul: It's 9:28PM! What the and I hear the kids still up! Jo: What is their usual bedtime hour? Paul: They go to sleep at 9:30. But they won't go to sleep when I say to them so!! I'll go beat them up. Jo: Do you use spanking as a discipline? You could risk them for injury! Paul: They deserve to be injured. They deserved it. Jo and Paul run upstairs goes into Murphy's bedroom Paul: Screw THIS, MURPHY GET YOURSELF TO BED THIS INSTANT YOU shithole! AND ALAN, YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM! You will get no supper tonight! zooms into Paul's angry face Paul: AND CAMERAMAN, DON'T EMBARRASS ME ON THE MEDIA. GET OUT OF HERE. A'nnouncer: Auditioning for Supernanny means you will be on the media, since the family has agreed to the policies while signing up.' Alan: You hurt my feelings! Paul: You HURT MINE TOO! Idiots. Jo: At least he didn't slap the kids. Jo: Okay, so if you feel like you're gonna lose it you need to go downstairs. Just use a low-tone voice. Paul: Jo doesn't know how babysitting works. She should get retrained. Screw her. Her parents yelled at Jo when she was younger, so what's the point of low-tone voice? ''' Murphy: I WISH YOU ARE DEAD! finger Jo: You do not flip the finger to me or your father. That is unacceptable. I know you're father is doing something wrong but I will solve the problem myself and them. '''Jo:" I didn't blame Murphy for flipping her dad off! She's only 3 and been through more than enough, so no wonder she and Alan play up!" Announcer: Meanwhile at Alexia's room, she is just getting ready for bed as she makes the covers, until she hears what's going on. She decides to ignore and rest anyway. It's finally time for a one-on-one meeting. Jo: So Wendall and Paul, what discipline methods you use in this household. To me the discipline methods you guys used are dangerous to your children, more threatening and worst of all you can hurt their feelings. Paul: Cause they're fuckeded up everyday. Except for Alexia, which I like. Jo: Do you know what's the point when I come to this? We going to start getting to safer, kindful discipline methods. So that means, you're gonna carefully start following my instructions. Paul: Don't have to. Don't have to mess with my instructions. Jo:"Wendall revealed something shocking to me!" Wendall: Hmm. I don't know if we should do this but if I discipline them I don't use corporal punishment. The only reason I do what I do e.g. hurting feelings etc is because if I don't, and I know I can't (bleep)ing stand it all is because Paul will hit me!" Jo: Trust me Paul and Wendall. I am not joking. So we go forward to bedtime, and you check on Murphy's room and Alan was still here, Murphy and Alan were fighting for something. Then, you used threats and vulgar language to the children. Do you know they can start to learn curse words at development?" Wendall: "Oh my God! This is where they get swearing from!" gasps gets shocked Paul: Okay then. I will try to follow my instructions as you please me. My pleasure. Jo: Okay then. I hope you can follow these instructions and begin the use of a low-tone voice. Bye Paul and Wendall, take care. leaves Announcer: Coming up on Supernanny. Announcer: Jo introduces a new regime which will replace the family's current regime. From new techniques that will work and more stuff, the family is now starting to face Jo's new though rules. Announcer: And before it, Alan and Murphy misbehaves at the supermarket. Murphy: I WANT A EGG! Paul: his voice YOU ARE NOT GONNA GET A screwed UP CHOCOLATE EGG! Wendall: "Cool it, Paul!" look at Harvards Shopper: Seriously? This family needs to shape up! Jo: The grocery trip goes in a very crazy situation. And because of Alexia, she would come to the point when she can't be shopping anymore. This is what caused the family trouble! Announcer: When Supernanny returns. Harvards go Grocery Shopping logo on screen, scene to house Announcer: Usually every Saturday the family goes out for some Grocery Shopping. But it often leads into seriously, crazy behaviour all because of Alan and Murphy. Jo: Every time they go for grocery shopping, the family would be in trouble on Saturday! That's what made embarrassment to people at that shop! But since I'm here, I'm coming with that family. PM family gets into the car Announcer: But the trip gets delayed with struggling to put Alan and Murphy in their seats. tries to buckle Murphy, but Murphy is refusing to accept that she needs a belt Murphy: No I don't want it! Paul: You have to, it's the law! What are you like here, Saudi Arabia? Jo: Sometimes if Paul would be the one who gets angry and thinks that it is similar to other countries than Canada, then he uses countries as a threat (for example like Middle Eastern countries that are bad), and maybe in the other side of the world. It just makes fewer people seeing this offended. Wendall: Why you refer terrorist countri--- Paul: Don't tell me what to do! Announcer: It takes them 20 minutes mostly to get Murphy into her seat, but with a little delay because Alan is also teasing her. Alan: Ha ha Murphy you're a loser you love your parents to break the law cause I do. Paul: his voice SHUT THE hell UP! minutes later Announcer: Just 25 minutes later the family van is now bound for the Grocery Store. But what's going on in the Car Trip? Jo is observing the car beside Alexia which gets to sit in the back. the car we see Alan and Murphy fighting over something Jo: The fighting stopped in a little rude way using a bad word. Paul: Alan and Murphy, shut the hell up. Jo: So Paul, while your wife Wendall is following my instruction how come you aren't? I told you to drop the vulgar words. Paul: Vulgar words is the only way our children will listen. Jo: My word... unbuckles her seat belt Wendall: a firm voice Murphy put your seat belt back on please. Paul: Yeah don't want the police to arrest me! Murphy: I can do whatever I want! Jo: Murphy, you have to put on that-- Paul his voice: Fuck YOURSELF INTO THAT SEATBELT ON MISSY! Now before I slit your throat! Announcer: Just a 10 minute trip and they're at the Grocery Store. Just 25 miles away from the Harvard Family home, and a little close to the American border. Murphy: Can I have candy? Paul: No we just enter that rubbish shop, we're just gonna buy this stupid stuff and leave. Period." Wendall:" Why are you being so negative? Now I know why Alan and Murphy misbehave!" OTHER SECTION WIP Murphy: (screams at the top of his lungs, loud enough for everyone in the store to hear) Daddy molested me!!!!!!! Paul's Comeuppance Jo: "It wasn't long until Alan and Murphy saw spiders, which both kids are scared of." and Murphy are playing Pokemon GO on their iPads Murphy: "Mommy! A Spider! A Spider!" hugs Murphy while Alan hides shows up Paul: "WHY IS MURPHY CRYING? AND WHY IS ALAN HIDING?" Wendall: Paul you know they are scared of spiders!" Paul :" TOO freakin' bad! THEY ARE GOING TO GET SPANKINGS AND I WILL LIBERATE THE SPIDERS!" Wendall: "IF YOU DO, I WILL DIVORCE YOU AND TAKE ALL 3 KIDS WITH ME!" goes ahead with his plan Wendall: Right guys we are leaving so please pack your things. All of them." Alan: Daddy molested me! Category:Fanon Season 8